Gold star family says Army gave away mother’s promised gravesite at JBLM

TACOMA, Wash. — A local family is sharing their heartbreak and frustration after their mother’s gravesite was given away. The Gold star family is asking for the Army to make things right.

Vietnam War hero, Chief Warrant Officer (CWO) Robert M. Dowling, was killed in Vietnam 56 years ago. He was serving as a helicopter pilot in the Army.

“I just remember my mom in shock. She went upstairs and just cried her eyes out,” recalls son Bobby Dowling, following his father’s death. “Days went by, and of course, we got another telegram that said my father’s remains had been recovered, and he was being returned to the US.”

He said at that time, the Army promised his mother, Mary, a plot next to her late husband. CWO Dowling was buried at the Joint Base Lewis-McChord cemetery.

“Almost six decades that the promise was made by the Army to let her be buried next to the only man she ever loved,” said Bobby.

But in November, during her annual Veteran’s Day trip to his gravesite, Mrs. Dowling discovered the long-time promise had been broken.

“She put the flowers on my dad’s grave and paid her respects, and she looked over to her plot. And the dirt was freshly turned over, and someone appears to have been buried there,” said Bobby.

Bobby said for years, he and his mother would call the JBLM base to ask about the burial plot. Each time they say they were assured that the spot was still reserved for Mrs. Dowling.

Now, JBLM is conceding that a mistake has been made.

David Fullmer, JBLM Garrison Chief of Staff, tells KIRO 7 in part, “Mrs. Mary Dowling was apparently promised—at that time—to be buried adjacent to her husband in plot 2F9. Based on circumstances, we do not doubt the promise that was made ... Mrs. Dowling hasn’t provided any verification letters showing that she had a reservation. Without a reservation, we cannot keep plots obligated indefinitely and deny other veterans and eligible family members a place of rest.”

The JBLM spokesman tells KIRO 7 that a final resting place should be final and that the base doesn’t intend to move the urn of the fallen soldier in Mrs. Dowling’s spot.

The Dowling family has declined JBLM’s offer for CWO Dowling and Mrs. Dowling to share his burial plot and headstone. The base said there’s enough room for both Dowling coffins on one plot.

On Thursday, members of the family will meet with representatives from JBLM to try to reach a solution.

Bobby said his mother is in her eighties and has only one wish: to be buried where she was promised.

“We’re an Army family. Have always been; still are. But on behalf of my mom, she wants to remedy the situation. One way and one way only, and that’s to get her grave back that’s been promised to her by the Army and be buried next to my dad,” said Bobby.

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