WASHINGTON — For survivors of domestic violence, leaving an abusive relationship isn’t always as simple as walking out the door.
Abuse can mean losing control of money, being cut off from friends and family, or having nowhere safe to go. During Domestic Violence Awareness Month, advocates are highlighting the barriers survivors may face when they are ready to leave and begin again.
Ciara Murphy, a director with The Salvation Army, said financial control can make starting over especially difficult.
“So a lot of our clients, they don’t have money to set up an alternate household,” Murphy said. “They don’t have any money. They don’t have any savings. They’re not allowed to keep their money.”
Murphy said survivors come to The Salvation Army at different stages. Some may still be living with an abusive partner and considering leaving, while others may have already left and are staying temporarily with someone else or living in their cars with their children.
The Salvation Army offers two programs aimed at helping survivors find safety and stability. According to Murphy, the Community Advocacy Program provides services including safety planning and legal and housing assistance, while Hickman House provides transitional apartments for families with children.
Murphy recalled one mother describing the relief her family felt after getting into a safe home.
“She said, ‘We shut that front door and we’re smiling,’” Murphy said. “And she said, ‘The thing that really gets me is that my kids are, I can see they’re unafraid.’”
Murphy said having a safe place to live can allow survivors to focus on what comes next, including counseling, employment and their children’s health and education.
But reaching out for help can also carry risks. Murphy said abusive partners may monitor phones and online activity, making it harder for survivors to seek assistance safely.
“The best time to call is when the abuser isn’t around,” Murphy said. “It might be better using someone else’s phone if the phone is being tracked, which is very common, or using a friend’s phone.”
Above all, Murphy said she wants people experiencing abuse to know they do not have to navigate the process alone.
“There is hope. There is help out there,” Murphy said. “Please come to us. We’re committed to helping you. And you are stronger than you think.”
People seeking help can contact the King County domestic violence helpline at 206-737-0242 or visit DVHopeline.org.