Partner doesn't get Montessori style? How to get on the same page

Have you and your partner decided on private or home schooling, but one of you isn't on board with the Montessori style? Try getting over this hump by ensuring open communication and understanding of what your core values are as a family.

When explaining the benefits of this alternative education, focus on the "why" behind the approach and the potential future outcomes. After all, your child can experience self-regulated learning, peer learning/mentorship, understanding their environments, and conflict resolution. Find and review some studies that back up how Montessori students often have a modest academic and even higher non-academic advantage over their traditional education counterparts.

It may also be easier to bridge the gap with Montessori parenting by explaining that there is room for fluidity. Harmonizing parenting styles may involve setting non-negotiables and clarifying what doesn't fit the other person's comfort level. Don't be afraid to talk with other Montessori parents, visit schools, and model techniques with each other, not just your child.

Why Is My Partner Worried?

When discussing some of the agreement gaps you and your partner have regarding a Montessori education, try to understand that the other person may have valid concerns to consider. Your household finances, the structure your child's personality needs, and the lack of a formal grading system may be some sore spots.

Finances

A common concern regarding Montessori education is the cost, as only a small fraction is public. An annual average tuition cost of $13,000 to $28,000 can be over the budget for households educating more than one child.

Are you interested in homeschooling? If so, you may enjoy the benefits of Montessori at a lower fee with even more parental control thanks to a Complete Montessori Primary Curriculum.

Curriculum Flexibility

The Montessori method focuses on the natural curiosity of children, allowing them to have a more self-paced education with the teacher as a guide, not a direct instructor. The classrooms use child-friendly furniture and easily accessible learning materials, like utensils to practice snack making. As a result, children can explore, learn, grow, and practice peer learning/mentorship with hands-on activities.

However, your spouse may understandably worry that the situation is too chaotic, especially if your child's personality needs more guidance. Luckily, you can incorporate this method at home through homeschooling, field trips, or daily parental guidance that allows your child to explore the natural environment.

Accessments

Report cards featuring letter grades and standardized tests are the hallmark of a traditional school. However, these are absent from a Montessori environment, which may cause some parents to worry about evaluations of their child's progress. It's also a valid concern if the child will eventually transition to a traditional school where formal tests are the norm.

How Can I Explain Montessori To My Spouse In Plain Language?

Simply put, this method of learning respects your child as an individual from an early age. It allows the youngest preschooler to the high schooler to show responsibility with self-guided learning and group work. Mixed-age classrooms support purposeful socialization through peer learning and mentoring, which can also help model behavior for younger kids.

Kids learn by practicing real-world skills instead of rote memorization and sitting at a desk all day. A prepared learning space in the classroom or home should include accessible and purposeful materials for the child to use. The system works with your child's natural curiosity by encouraging engagement in activities that interest them. However, the method fits into the standard pillars of math, culture, language, practical skills, and reading.

Some Key Benefits for Parents to Discuss

Are you worried that your child is not learning cursive since it was removed from the Common Core curriculum? With the popularity of digital devices, cursive writing and its benefits are at risk.

A Frontiers study notes that handwriting elaborately activates the brain in a way vital to memory and retention, something typing doesn't do. Luckily, Montessori teaching values handwriting.

Another study from 2017 tested 140 preschoolers, including Montessori and non-Montessori attendees. Over the next three years, the Montessori kids showed rapid advancement in literacy and math, while soft skills were about equal between groups.

Start a Joint Montessori Lifestyle

Montessori benefits for families may include self-reliant children who experience more cooperation and conflict resolution than in a traditional setting. Families may also experience reduced conflict and connection by learning together.

A few steps to get started include:

  • Visiting a Montessori school for observation
  • Setting up a home learning environment
  • Reducing device use
  • Modeling good communication as a couple
  • Find and share related resources

Frequently Asked Questions By Parents About the Montessori Style

Why Is There No Pretend Play in Montessori?

Some parents may think a Montessori school is way too serious for young kids due to the lack of pretend play. It doesn't mean the children don't get to play or be imaginative. Here, the imagination is focused on what the children create while understanding the natural world.

This teaching method emphasizes children having a firm grasp on reality before they're introduced to more fantastical elements, like talking animals and magical powers in books.

How Does Montessori Handle Discipline?

Discipline may be another sore spot for parents with a firmer style. The Montessori style involves guidance about the issue rather than severe punishment. The idea is to gently guide children to more appropriate behavior while acknowledging their needs.

It may also include natural consequences, such as a child not being able to use toys that they don't put away or cleaning up spills that they create. That way, the child gets to understand what the problem is, how to fix it, and avoid repeating it the next time.

Couples Can Work Together for Montessori Learning

Your partner's understanding of Montessori can happen faster if you explain it in simple terms and how your child can benefit. A Montessori style may not be for everyone, but you bridge the gap by listening to each other's concerns and knowing where to compromise. Over time, your family may thrive with a more self-regulated child who potentially has enhanced literacy and math skills. Couples and children may experience better conflict resolution as a family.

Did this article give helpful guidance on bridging the gap with your partner on Montessori education? Check out some of our other education-focused posts.

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