Despite an attempt by shooting suspect Aaron Ybarra's attorney to block the release of his journal, a judge sided with members of the media and released it Tuesday afternoon.
In the six-page journal, the 26-year-old wrote on May 27, "Sometime by the end of this week or the beginning of next week, I will express how I really feel about humanity, America and the world itself. Two and a half years in psychiatry and (it) didn't help. I had a high level of stress that made me feel crazy and not myself."
On May 28 he wrote, "I was diagnosed with OCD, but I know that it's at a higher level than people think. If my family wanted me to go to therapy then they should have worked with me on it instead of trying to force me to go. That caused me depression and problems."
Click here to download a PDF of Ybarra's journal.
An entry dated June 2 read, "I used to always hate violence towards women, but there is no doubt that I'm going to kill quite a few in the shootout. I don't care anymore. There are a few universities in the state to pick from that I'm planning to attack. Washington State is the main target. I can't make it there without any suspicion, my parents will keep wondering where I'm at and plus I'm not yet prepared for it. I have plan B's Central, Eastern and Seattle Pacific.
"I picked Seattle Pacific because I'm less familiar with it and I can see that University of Washington and Seattle University represent Seattle more. I didn't want to have to attack my own city. I went to SPU campus to get info and to find a good area to attack. A couple Mondays ago. I was trying to give myself a tour and asking where certain buildings were, acting like a transfer student."
Two days before the shootings on June 5, he wrote, "This is it! I can't believe I'm finally doing this! so exciting I'm jumping. Since Virginia Tech and Columbine, I've been thinking about these a lot. I use to feel bad for the ones who were killed, but now Eric Harris and Seung Hui Cho became my idols."
Ybarra is being held at the King County Jail on one count of first-degree murder and two counts of attempted murder.
He has pleaded not guilty to the charges.
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