Shirtless man assaults woman with peanut butter

TACOMA, Wash. — Editor’s note: Compiled from reports to Tacoma police.

April 20: It was a small-time assault, and the weapon of choice was peanut butter.

Officers called to a disturbance at a community health center in the 2300 block of Tacoma Avenue South found a shirtless, sweating man standing out front with peanut butter on his shoes.

An open jar was on the ground nearby, along with toothpaste and a portable CD player. The man, 48, pointed to a woman and said she wouldn’t return his stuff.

The woman, 46, told a different story. She said the shirtless man, who carried a suitcase, had been arguing with another guy and threatening to tie him up with a rope. The man had thrown a couple of rocks. One hit the woman’s car, she said.

She stepped out. The man pulled the peanut butter jar out of his suitcase and chucked it at her, she said. The CD player came next. The other guy who had been arguing with the man took the suitcase away before the man could throw anything else.

The officer looked the woman over. She had peanut butter in her hair, on her chest and on her arm.

A second officer spoke to the second man, 47. The man said No-Shirt had been walking around asking people for a spoon to eat his peanut butter.

The second man didn’t have a spoon. He said he offered to share his pizza, but No-Shirt didn’t want pizza — instead, he wanted to fight, and told the man to step outside. No-Shirt added conditions: He wanted to tie their hands together for the fight.

The second man refused, he said. No-Shirt got mad and started throwing rocks.

A third witness backed up the accounts of rock and jar throwing. Officers spoke to No-Shirt and asked why he threw the peanut butter. No-Shirt said the woman took his suitcase and threatened to assault him.

The story didn’t square with the accounts from other witnesses. Officers arrested No-Shirt and booked him into the Pierce County Jail on suspicion of misdemeanor assault.

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KIRO